Soon after this, the general found himself obliged to go to London
for a week; and he left Northanger earnestly regretting that any
necessity should rob him even for an hour of Miss Morland's company,
and anxiously recommending the study of her comfort and amusement
to his children as their chief object in his absence. His departure
gave Catherine the first experimental conviction that a loss may be
sometimes a gain. The happiness with which their time now passed,
every employment voluntary, every laugh indulged, every meal a scene
of ease and good humour, walking where they liked and when they
liked, their hours, pleasures, and fatigues at their own command,
made her thoroughly sensible of the restraint which the general's
presence had imposed, and most thankfully feel their present release
from it. Such ease and such delights made her love the place and
the people more and more every day; and had it not been for a dread
of its soon becoming expedient to leave the one, and an apprehension
of not being equally beloved by the other, she would at each moment
of each day have been perfectly happy; but she was now in the fourth
week of her visit; before the general came home, the fourth week
would be turned, and perhaps it might seem an intrusion if she
stayed much longer. This was a painful consideration whenever it
occurred; and eager to get rid of such a weight on her mind, she
very soon resolved to speak to Eleanor about it at once, propose
going away, and be guided in her conduct by the manner in which
her proposal might be taken.
Aware that if she gave herself much time, she might feel it difficult
to bring forward so unpleasant a subject, she took the first
opportunity of being suddenly alone with Eleanor, and of Eleanor's
being in the middle of a speech about something very different, to
start forth her obligation of going away very soon. Eleanor looked
and declared herself much concerned. She had "hoped for the pleasure
of her company for a much longer time -- had been misled (perhaps
by her wishes) to suppose that a much longer visit had been promised
-- and could not but think that if Mr. and Mrs. Morland were aware
of the pleasure it was to her to have her there, they would be too
generous to hasten her return." Catherine explained: "Oh! As to
that, Papa and Mamma were in no hurry at all. As long as she was
happy, they would always be satisfied."
"Then why, might she ask, in such a hurry herself to leave them?"
"Oh! Because she had been there so long."
"Nay, if you can use such a word, I can urge you no farther. If
you think it long -- "
"Oh! No, I do not indeed. For my own pleasure, I could stay with
you as long again." And it was directly settled that, till she
had, her leaving them was not even to be thought of. In having
this cause of uneasiness so pleasantly removed, the force of the
other was likewise weakened. The kindness, the earnestness of
Eleanor's manner in pressing her to stay, and Henry's gratified
look on being told that her stay was determined, were such sweet
proofs of her importance with them, as left her only just so much
solicitude as the human mind can never do comfortably without. She
did -- almost always -- believe that Henry loved her, and quite
always that his father and sister loved and even wished her to
belong to them; and believing so far, her doubts and anxieties were
merely sportive irritations.
Henry was not able to obey his father's injunction of remaining
wholly at Northanger in attendance on the ladies, during his absence
in London, the engagements of his curate at Woodston obliging him
to leave them on Saturday for a couple of nights. His loss was
not now what it had been while the general was at home; it lessened
their gaiety, but did not ruin their comfort; and the two girls
agreeing in occupation, and improving in intimacy, found themselves
so well sufficient for the time to themselves, that it was eleven
o'clock, rather a late hour at the abbey, before they quitted the
supper-room on the day of Henry's departure. They had just reached
the head of the stairs when it seemed, as far as the thickness of
the walls would allow them to judge, that a carriage was driving
up to the door, and the next moment confirmed the idea by the loud
noise of the house-bell. After the first perturbation of surprise
had passed away, in a "Good heaven! What can be the matter?" it
was quickly decided by Eleanor to be her eldest brother, whose
arrival was often as sudden, if not quite so unseasonable, and
accordingly she hurried down to welcome him.
Catherine walked on to her chamber, making up her mind as well
as she could, to a further acquaintance with Captain Tilney, and
comforting herself under the unpleasant impression his conduct
had given her, and the persuasion of his being by far too fine
a gentleman to approve of her, that at least they should not meet
under such circumstances as would make their meeting materially
painful. She trusted he would never speak of Miss Thorpe; and indeed,
as he must by this time be ashamed of the part he had acted, there
could be no danger of it; and as long as all mention of Bath scenes
were avoided, she thought she could behave to him very civilly. In
such considerations time passed away, and it was certainly in his
favour that Eleanor should be so glad to see him, and have so much
to say, for half an hour was almost gone since his arrival, and
Eleanor did not come up.
At that moment Catherine thought she heard her step in the gallery,
and listened for its continuance; but all was silent. Scarcely,
however, had she convicted her fancy of error, when the noise of
something moving close to her door made her start; it seemed as
if someone was touching the very doorway -- and in another moment
a slight motion of the lock proved that some hand must be on it. She
trembled a little at the idea of anyone's approaching so cautiously;
but resolving not to be again overcome by trivial appearances
of alarm, or misled by a raised imagination, she stepped quietly
forward, and opened the door. Eleanor, and only Eleanor, stood
there. Catherine's spirits, however, were tranquillized but for
an instant, for Eleanor's cheeks were pale, and her manner greatly
agitated. Though evidently intending to come in, it seemed an
effort to enter the room, and a still greater to speak when there.
Catherine, supposing some uneasiness on Captain Tilney's account,
could only express her concern by silent attention, obliged her to
be seated, rubbed her temples with lavender-water, and hung over
her with affectionate solicitude. "My dear Catherine, you must not
-- you must not indeed -- " were Eleanor's first connected words.
"I am quite well. This kindness distracts me -- I cannot bear it
-- I come to you on such an errand!"
"Errand! To me!"
"How shall I tell you! Oh! How shall I tell you!"
A new idea now darted into Catherine's mind, and turning as pale
as her friend, she exclaimed, "'Tis a messenger from Woodston!"
"You are mistaken, indeed," returned Eleanor, looking at her most
compassionately; "it is no one from Woodston. It is my father
himself." Her voice faltered, and her eyes were turned to the ground
as she mentioned his name. His unlooked-for return was enough in
itself to make Catherine's heart sink, and for a few moments she
hardly supposed there were anything worse to be told. She said
nothing; and Eleanor, endeavouring to collect herself and speak
with firmness, but with eyes still cast down, soon went on. "You
are too good, I am sure, to think the worse of me for the part
I am obliged to perform. I am indeed a most unwilling messenger.
After what has so lately passed, so lately been settled between us
-- how joyfully, how thankfully on my side! -- as to your continuing
here as I hoped for many, many weeks longer, how can I tell you
that your kindness is not to be accepted -- and that the happiness
your company has hitherto given us is to be repaid by -- But I must
not trust myself with words. My dear Catherine, we are to part.
My father has recollected an engagement that takes our whole family
away on Monday. We are going to Lord Longtown's, near Hereford,
for a fortnight. Explanation and apology are equally impossible.
I cannot attempt either."
"My dear Eleanor," cried Catherine, suppressing her feelings as
well as she could, "do not be so distressed. A second engagement
must give way to a first. I am very, very sorry we are to part --
so soon, and so suddenly too; but I am not offended, indeed I am
not. I can finish my visit here, you know, at any time; or I hope
you will come to me. Can you, when you return from this lord's,
come to Fullerton?"
"It will not be in my power, Catherine."
"Come when you can, then."
Eleanor made no answer; and Catherine's thoughts recurring to
something more directly interesting, she added, thinking aloud,
"Monday -- so soon as Monday; and you all go. Well, I am certain
of -- I shall be able to take leave, however. I need not go till
just before you do, you know. Do not be distressed, Eleanor, I can
go on Monday very well. My father and mother's having no notice of
it is of very little consequence. The general will send a servant
with me, I dare say, half the way -- and then I shall soon be at
Salisbury, and then I am only nine miles from home."
"Ah, Catherine! Were it settled so, it would be somewhat less
intolerable, though in such common attentions you would have received
but half what you ought. But -- how can I tell you? -- tomorrow
morning is fixed for your leaving us, and not even the hour is left
to your choice; the very carriage is ordered, and will be here at
seven o'clock, and no servant will be offered you."
Catherine sat down, breathless and speechless. "I could hardly
believe my senses, when I heard it; and no displeasure, no resentment
that you can feel at this moment, however justly great, can be more
than I myself -- but I must not talk of what I felt. Oh! That I
could suggest anything in extenuation! Good God! What will your
father and mother say! After courting you from the protection of
real friends to this -- almost double distance from your home, to
have you driven out of the house, without the considerations even
of decent civility! Dear, dear Catherine, in being the bearer
of such a message, I seem guilty myself of all its insult; yet,
I trust you will acquit me, for you must have been long enough in
this house to see that I am but a nominal mistress of it, that my
real power is nothing."
"Have I offended the general?" said Catherine in a faltering voice.
"Alas! For my feelings as a daughter, all that I know, all that I
answer for, is that you can have given him no just cause of offence.
He certainly is greatly, very greatly discomposed; I have seldom
seen him more so. His temper is not happy, and something has now
occurred to ruffle it in an uncommon degree; some disappointment,
some vexation, which just at this moment seems important, but
which I can hardly suppose you to have any concern in, for how is
it possible?"
It was with pain that Catherine could speak at all; and it was only
for Eleanor's sake that she attempted it. "I am sure," said she,
"I am very sorry if I have offended him. It was the last thing
I would willingly have done. But do not be unhappy, Eleanor. An
engagement, you know, must be kept. I am only sorry it was not
recollected sooner, that I might have written home. But it is of
very little consequence."
"I hope, I earnestly hope, that to your real safety it will be of
none; but to everything else it is of the greatest consequence:
to comfort, appearance, propriety, to your family, to the world.
Were your friends, the Allens, still in Bath, you might go to
them with comparative ease; a few hours would take you there; but
a journey of seventy miles, to be taken post by you, at your age,
alone, unattended!"
"Oh, the journey is nothing. Do not think about that. And if
we are to part, a few hours sooner or later, you know, makes no
difference. I can be ready by seven. Let me be called in time."
Eleanor saw that she wished to be alone; and believing it better
for each that they should avoid any further conversation, now left
her with, "I shall see you in the morning."
Catherine's swelling heart needed relief. In Eleanor's presence
friendship and pride had equally restrained her tears, but no sooner
was she gone than they burst forth in torrents. Turned from the
house, and in such a way! Without any reason that could justify,
any apology that could atone for the abruptness, the rudeness, nay,
the insolence of it. Henry at a distance -- not able even to bid
him farewell. Every hope, every expectation from him suspended, at
least, and who could say how long? Who could say when they might
meet again? And all this by such a man as General Tilney, so
polite, so well bred, and heretofore so particularly fond of her!
It was as incomprehensible as it was mortifying and grievous. From
what it could arise, and where it would end, were considerations
of equal perplexity and alarm. The manner in which it was done
so grossly uncivil, hurrying her away without any reference to her
own convenience, or allowing her even the appearance of choice as
to the time or mode of her travelling; of two days, the earliest
fixed on, and of that almost the earliest hour, as if resolved to
have her gone before he was stirring in the morning, that he might
not be obliged even to see her. What could all this mean but an
intentional affront? By some means or other she must have had the
misfortune to offend him. Eleanor had wished to spare her from so
painful a notion, but Catherine could not believe it possible that
any injury or any misfortune could provoke such ill will against
a person not connected, or, at least, not supposed to be connected
with it.
Heavily passed the night. Sleep, or repose that deserved the
name of sleep, was out of the question. That room, in which her
disturbed imagination had tormented her on her first arrival, was
again the scene of agitated spirits and unquiet slumbers. Yet
how different now the source of her inquietude from what it had
been then -- how mournfully superior in reality and substance!
Her anxiety had foundation in fact, her fears in probability; and
with a mind so occupied in the contemplation of actual and natural
evil, the solitude of her situation, the darkness of her chamber,
the antiquity of the building, were felt and considered without the
smallest emotion; and though the wind was high, and often produced
strange and sudden noises throughout the house, she heard it all
as she lay awake, hour after hour, without curiosity or terror.
Soon after six Eleanor entered her room, eager to show attention
or give assistance where it was possible; but very little remained
to be done. Catherine had not loitered; she was almost dressed, and
her packing almost finished. The possibility of some conciliatory
message from the general occurred to her as his daughter appeared.
What so natural, as that anger should pass away and repentance
succeed it? And she only wanted to know how far, after what had
passed, an apology might properly be received by her. But the
knowledge would have been useless here; it was not called for; neither
clemency nor dignity was put to the trial -- Eleanor brought no
message. Very little passed between them on meeting; each found her
greatest safety in silence, and few and trivial were the sentences
exchanged while they remained upstairs, Catherine in busy agitation
completing her dress, and Eleanor with more goodwill than experience
intent upon filling the trunk. When everything was done they left
the room, Catherine lingering only half a minute behind her friend
to throw a parting glance on every well-known, cherished object, and
went down to the breakfast-parlour, where breakfast was prepared.
She tried to eat, as well to save herself from the pain of being
urged as to make her friend comfortable; but she had no appetite,
and could not swallow many mouthfuls. The contrast between this
and her last breakfast in that room gave her fresh misery, and
strengthened her distaste for everything before her. It was not
four and twenty hours ago since they had met there to the same
repast, but in circumstances how different! With what cheerful
ease, what happy, though false, security, had she then looked around
her, enjoying everything present, and fearing little in future,
beyond Henry's going to Woodston for a day! Happy, happy breakfast!
For Henry had been there; Henry had sat by her and helped her.
These reflections were long indulged undisturbed by any address
from her companion, who sat as deep in thought as herself; and
the appearance of the carriage was the first thing to startle and
recall them to the present moment. Catherine's colour rose at the
sight of it; and the indignity with which she was treated, striking
at that instant on her mind with peculiar force, made her for a
short time sensible only of resentment. Eleanor seemed now impelled
into resolution and speech.
"You must write to me, Catherine," she cried; "you must let me
hear from you as soon as possible. Till I know you to be safe at
home, I shall not have an hour's comfort. For one letter, at all
risks, all hazards, I must entreat. Let me have the satisfaction
of knowing that you are safe at Fullerton, and have found your family
well, and then, till I can ask for your correspondence as I ought
to do, I will not expect more. Direct to me at Lord Longtown's,
and, I must ask it, under cover to Alice."
"No, Eleanor, if you are not allowed to receive a letter from me,
I am sure I had better not write. There can be no doubt of my
getting home safe."
Eleanor only replied, "I cannot wonder at your feelings. I will
not importune you. I will trust to your own kindness of heart when
I am at a distance from you." But this, with the look of sorrow
accompanying it, was enough to melt Catherine's pride in a moment,
and she instantly said, "Oh, Eleanor, I will write to you indeed."
There was yet another point which Miss Tilney was anxious to settle,
though somewhat embarrassed in speaking of. It had occurred to
her that after so long an absence from home, Catherine might not
be provided with money enough for the expenses of her journey,
and, upon suggesting it to her with most affectionate offers of
accommodation, it proved to be exactly the case. Catherine had
never thought on the subject till that moment, but, upon examining
her purse, was convinced that but for this kindness of her friend,
she might have been turned from the house without even the means of
getting home; and the distress in which she must have been thereby
involved filling the minds of both, scarcely another word was said
by either during the time of their remaining together. Short,
however, was that time. The carriage was soon announced to be
ready; and Catherine, instantly rising, a long and affectionate
embrace supplied the place of language in bidding each other adieu;
and, as they entered the hall, unable to leave the house without
some mention of one whose name had not yet been spoken by either,
she paused a moment, and with quivering lips just made it intelligible
that she left "her kind remembrance for her absent friend." But
with this approach to his name ended all possibility of restraining
her feelings; and, hiding her face as well as she could with her
handkerchief, she darted across the hall, jumped into the chaise,
and in a moment was driven from the door.
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