CHAPTER 52 - I ASSIST AT AN EXPLOSION

When the time Mr. Micawber had appointed so mysteriously, was

within four-and-twenty hours of being come, my aunt and I consulted

how we should proceed; for my aunt was very unwilling to leave

Dora. Ah! how easily I carried Dora up and down stairs, now!

We were disposed, notwithstanding Mr. Micawber's stipulation for my

aunt's attendance, to arrange that she should stay at home, and be

represented by Mr. Dick and me. In short, we had resolved to take

this course, when Dora again unsettled us by declaring that she

never would forgive herself, and never would forgive her bad boy,

if my aunt remained behind, on any pretence.

'I won't speak to you,' said Dora, shaking her curls at my aunt.

'I'll be disagreeable! I'll make Jip bark at you all day. I shall

be sure that you really are a cross old thing, if you don't go!'

'Tut, Blossom!' laughed my aunt. 'You know you can't do without

me!'

'Yes, I can,' said Dora. 'You are no use to me at all. You never

run up and down stairs for me, all day long. You never sit and

tell me stories about Doady, when his shoes were worn out, and he

was covered with dust - oh, what a poor little mite of a fellow!

You never do anything at all to please me, do you, dear?' Dora made

haste to kiss my aunt, and say, 'Yes, you do! I'm only joking!'-

lest my aunt should think she really meant it.

'But, aunt,' said Dora, coaxingly, 'now listen. You must go. I

shall tease you, 'till you let me have my own way about it. I

shall lead my naughty boy such a life, if he don't make you go. I

shall make myself so disagreeable - and so will Jip! You'll wish

you had gone, like a good thing, for ever and ever so long, if you

don't go. Besides,' said Dora, putting back her hair, and looking

wonderingly at my aunt and me, 'why shouldn't you both go? I am

not very ill indeed. Am I?'

'Why, what a question!' cried my aunt.

'What a fancy!' said I.

'Yes! I know I am a silly little thing!' said Dora, slowly looking

from one of us to the other, and then putting up her pretty lips to

kiss us as she lay upon her couch. 'Well, then, you must both go,

or I shall not believe you; and then I shall cry!'

I saw, in my aunt's face, that she began to give way now, and Dora

brightened again, as she saw it too.

'You'll come back with so much to tell me, that it'll take at least

a week to make me understand!' said Dora. 'Because I know I shan't

understand, for a length of time, if there's any business in it.

And there's sure to be some business in it! If there's anything to

add up, besides, I don't know when I shall make it out; and my bad

boy will look so miserable all the time. There! Now you'll go,

won't you? You'll only be gone one night, and Jip will take care

of me while you are gone. Doady will carry me upstairs before you

go, and I won't come down again till you come back; and you shall

take Agnes a dreadfully scolding letter from me, because she has

never been to see us!'

We agreed, without any more consultation, that we would both go,

and that Dora was a little Impostor, who feigned to be rather

unwell, because she liked to be petted. She was greatly pleased,

and very merry; and we four, that is to say, my aunt, Mr. Dick,

Traddles, and I, went down to Canterbury by the Dover mail that

night.

At the hotel where Mr. Micawber had requested us to await him,

which we got into, with some trouble, in the middle of the night,

I found a letter, importing that he would appear in the morning

punctually at half past nine. After which, we went shivering, at

that uncomfortable hour, to our respective beds, through various

close passages; which smelt as if they had been steeped, for ages,

in a solution of soup and stables.

Early in the morning, I sauntered through the dear old tranquil

streets, and again mingled with the shadows of the venerable

gateways and churches. The rooks were sailing about the cathedral

towers; and the towers themselves, overlooking many a long

unaltered mile of the rich country and its pleasant streams, were

cutting the bright morning air, as if there were no such thing as

change on earth. Yet the bells, when they sounded, told me

sorrowfully of change in everything; told me of their own age, and

my pretty Dora's youth; and of the many, never old, who had lived

and loved and died, while the reverberations of the bells had

hummed through the rusty armour of the Black Prince hanging up

within, and, motes upon the deep of Time, had lost themselves in

air, as circles do in water.

I looked at the old house from the corner of the street, but did

not go nearer to it, lest, being observed, I might unwittingly do

any harm to the design I had come to aid. The early sun was

striking edgewise on its gables and lattice-windows, touching them

with gold; and some beams of its old peace seemed to touch my

heart.

I strolled into the country for an hour or so, and then returned by

the main street, which in the interval had shaken off its last

night's sleep. Among those who were stirring in the shops, I saw

my ancient enemy the butcher, now advanced to top-boots and a baby,

and in business for himself. He was nursing the baby, and appeared

to be a benignant member of society.

We all became very anxious and impatient, when we sat down to

breakfast. As it approached nearer and nearer to half past nine

o'clock, our restless expectation of Mr. Micawber increased. At

last we made no more pretence of attending to the meal, which,

except with Mr. Dick, had been a mere form from the first; but my

aunt walked up and down the room, Traddles sat upon the sofa

affecting to read the paper with his eyes on the ceiling; and I

looked out of the window to give early notice of Mr. Micawber's

coming. Nor had I long to watch, for, at the first chime of the

half hour, he appeared in the street.

'Here he is,' said I, 'and not in his legal attire!'

My aunt tied the strings of her bonnet (she had come down to

breakfast in it), and put on her shawl, as if she were ready for

anything that was resolute and uncompromising. Traddles buttoned

his coat with a determined air. Mr. Dick, disturbed by these

formidable appearances, but feeling it necessary to imitate them,

pulled his hat, with both hands, as firmly over his ears as he

possibly could; and instantly took it off again, to welcome Mr.

Micawber.

'Gentlemen, and madam,' said Mr. Micawber, 'good morning! My dear

sir,' to Mr. Dick, who shook hands with him violently, 'you are

extremely good.'

'Have you breakfasted?' said Mr. Dick. 'Have a chop!'

'Not for the world, my good sir!' cried Mr. Micawber, stopping him

on his way to the bell; 'appetite and myself, Mr. Dixon, have long

been strangers.'

Mr. Dixon was so well pleased with his new name, and appeared to

think it so obliging in Mr. Micawber to confer it upon him, that he

shook hands with him again, and laughed rather childishly.

'Dick,' said my aunt, 'attention!'

Mr. Dick recovered himself, with a blush.

'Now, sir,' said my aunt to Mr. Micawber, as she put on her gloves,

'we are ready for Mount Vesuvius, or anything else, as soon as YOU

please.'

'Madam,' returned Mr. Micawber, 'I trust you will shortly witness

an eruption. Mr. Traddles, I have your permission, I believe, to

mention here that we have been in communication together?'

'It is undoubtedly the fact, Copperfield,' said Traddles, to whom

I looked in surprise. 'Mr. Micawber has consulted me in reference

to what he has in contemplation; and I have advised him to the best

of my judgement.'

'Unless I deceive myself, Mr. Traddles,' pursued Mr. Micawber,

'what I contemplate is a disclosure of an important nature.'

'Highly so,' said Traddles.

'Perhaps, under such circumstances, madam and gentlemen,' said Mr.

Micawber, 'you will do me the favour to submit yourselves, for the

moment, to the direction of one who, however unworthy to be

regarded in any other light but as a Waif and Stray upon the shore

of human nature, is still your fellow-man, though crushed out of

his original form by individual errors, and the accumulative force

of a combination of circumstances?'

'We have perfect confidence in you, Mr. Micawber,' said I, 'and

will do what you please.'

'Mr. Copperfield,' returned Mr. Micawber, 'your confidence is not,

at the existing juncture, ill-bestowed. I would beg to be allowed

a start of five minutes by the clock; and then to receive the

present company, inquiring for Miss Wickfield, at the office of

Wickfield and Heep, whose Stipendiary I am.'

My aunt and I looked at Traddles, who nodded his approval.

'I have no more,' observed Mr. Micawber, 'to say at present.'

With which, to my infinite surprise, he included us all in a

comprehensive bow, and disappeared; his manner being extremely

distant, and his face extremely pale.

Traddles only smiled, and shook his head (with his hair standing

upright on the top of it), when I looked to him for an explanation;

so I took out my watch, and, as a last resource, counted off the

five minutes. My aunt, with her own watch in her hand, did the

like. When the time was expired, Traddles gave her his arm; and we

all went out together to the old house, without saying one word on

the way.

We found Mr. Micawber at his desk, in the turret office on the

ground floor, either writing, or pretending to write, hard. The

large office-ruler was stuck into his waistcoat, and was not so

well concealed but that a foot or more of that instrument protruded

from his bosom, like a new kind of shirt-frill.

As it appeared to me that I was expected to speak, I said aloud:

'How do you do, Mr. Micawber?'

'Mr. Copperfield,' said Mr. Micawber, gravely, 'I hope I see you

well?'

'Is Miss Wickfield at home?' said I.

'Mr. Wickfield is unwell in bed, sir, of a rheumatic fever,' he

returned; 'but Miss Wickfield, I have no doubt, will be happy to

see old friends. Will you walk in, sir?'

He preceded us to the dining-room - the first room I had entered in

that house - and flinging open the door of Mr. Wickfield's former

office, said, in a sonorous voice:

'Miss Trotwood, Mr. David Copperfield, Mr. Thomas Traddles, and Mr.

Dixon!'

I had not seen Uriah Heep since the time of the blow. Our visit

astonished him, evidently; not the less, I dare say, because it

astonished ourselves. He did not gather his eyebrows together, for

he had none worth mentioning; but he frowned to that degree that he

almost closed his small eyes, while the hurried raising of his

grisly hand to his chin betrayed some trepidation or surprise.

This was only when we were in the act of entering his room, and

when I caught a glance at him over my aunt's shoulder. A moment

afterwards, he was as fawning and as humble as ever.

'Well, I am sure,' he said. 'This is indeed an unexpected

pleasure! To have, as I may say, all friends round St. Paul's at

once, is a treat unlooked for! Mr. Copperfield, I hope I see you

well, and - if I may umbly express myself so - friendly towards

them as is ever your friends, whether or not. Mrs. Copperfield,

sir, I hope she's getting on. We have been made quite uneasy by

the poor accounts we have had of her state, lately, I do assure

you.'

I felt ashamed to let him take my hand, but I did not know yet what

else to do.

'Things are changed in this office, Miss Trotwood, since I was an

umble clerk, and held your pony; ain't they?' said Uriah, with his

sickliest smile. 'But I am not changed, Miss Trotwood.'

'Well, sir,' returned my aunt, 'to tell you the truth, I think you

are pretty constant to the promise of your youth; if that's any

satisfaction to you.'

'Thank you, Miss Trotwood,' said Uriah, writhing in his ungainly

manner, 'for your good opinion! Micawber, tell 'em to let Miss

Agnes know - and mother. Mother will be quite in a state, when she

sees the present company!' said Uriah, setting chairs.

'You are not busy, Mr. Heep?' said Traddles, whose eye the cunning

red eye accidentally caught, as it at once scrutinized and evaded

us.

'No, Mr. Traddles,' replied Uriah, resuming his official seat, and

squeezing his bony hands, laid palm to palm between his bony knees.

'Not so much so as I could wish. But lawyers, sharks, and leeches,

are not easily satisfied, you know! Not but what myself and

Micawber have our hands pretty full, in general, on account of Mr.

Wickfield's being hardly fit for any occupation, sir. But it's a

pleasure as well as a duty, I am sure, to work for him. You've not

been intimate with Mr. Wickfield, I think, Mr. Traddles? I believe

I've only had the honour of seeing you once myself?'

'No, I have not been intimate with Mr. Wickfield,' returned

Traddles; 'or I might perhaps have waited on you long ago, Mr.

Heep.'

There was something in the tone of this reply, which made Uriah

look at the speaker again, with a very sinister and suspicious

expression. But, seeing only Traddles, with his good-natured face,

simple manner, and hair on end, he dismissed it as he replied, with

a jerk of his whole body, but especially his throat:

'I am sorry for that, Mr. Traddles. You would have admired him as

much as we all do. His little failings would only have endeared

him to you the more. But if you would like to hear my

fellow-partner eloquently spoken of, I should refer you to

Copperfield. The family is a subject he's very strong upon, if you

never heard him.'

I was prevented from disclaiming the compliment (if I should have

done so, in any case), by the entrance of Agnes, now ushered in by

Mr. Micawber. She was not quite so self-possessed as usual, I

thought; and had evidently undergone anxiety and fatigue. But her

earnest cordiality, and her quiet beauty, shone with the gentler

lustre for it.

I saw Uriah watch her while she greeted us; and he reminded me of

an ugly and rebellious genie watching a good spirit. In the

meanwhile, some slight sign passed between Mr. Micawber and

Traddles; and Traddles, unobserved except by me, went out.

'Don't wait, Micawber,' said Uriah.

Mr. Micawber, with his hand upon the ruler in his breast, stood

erect before the door, most unmistakably contemplating one of his

fellow-men, and that man his employer.

'What are you waiting for?' said Uriah. 'Micawber! did you hear me

tell you not to wait?'

'Yes!' replied the immovable Mr. Micawber.

'Then why DO you wait?' said Uriah.

'Because I - in short, choose,' replied Mr. Micawber, with a burst.

Uriah's cheeks lost colour, and an unwholesome paleness, still

faintly tinged by his pervading red, overspread them. He looked at

Mr. Micawber attentively, with his whole face breathing short and

quick in every feature.

'You are a dissipated fellow, as all the world knows,' he said,

with an effort at a smile, 'and I am afraid you'll oblige me to get

rid of you. Go along! I'll talk to you presently.'

'If there is a scoundrel on this earth,' said Mr. Micawber,

suddenly breaking out again with the utmost vehemence, 'with whom

I have already talked too much, that scoundrel's name is - HEEP!'

Uriah fell back, as if he had been struck or stung. Looking slowly

round upon us with the darkest and wickedest expression that his

face could wear, he said, in a lower voice:

'Oho! This is a conspiracy! You have met here by appointment! You

are playing Booty with my clerk, are you, Copperfield? Now, take

care. You'll make nothing of this. We understand each other, you

and me. There's no love between us. You were always a puppy with

a proud stomach, from your first coming here; and you envy me my

rise, do you? None of your plots against me; I'll counterplot you!

Micawber, you be off. I'll talk to you presently.'

'Mr. Micawber,' said I, 'there is a sudden change in this fellow.

in more respects than the extraordinary one of his speaking the

truth in one particular, which assures me that he is brought to

bay. Deal with him as he deserves!'

'You are a precious set of people, ain't you?' said Uriah, in the

same low voice, and breaking out into a clammy heat, which he wiped

from his forehead, with his long lean hand, 'to buy over my clerk,

who is the very scum of society, - as you yourself were,

Copperfield, you know it, before anyone had charity on you, - to

defame me with his lies? Miss Trotwood, you had better stop this;

or I'll stop your husband shorter than will be pleasant to you. I

won't know your story professionally, for nothing, old lady! Miss

Wickfield, if you have any love for your father, you had better not

join that gang. I'll ruin him, if you do. Now, come! I have got

some of you under the harrow. Think twice, before it goes over

you. Think twice, you, Micawber, if you don't want to be crushed.

I recommend you to take yourself off, and be talked to presently,

you fool! while there's time to retreat. Where's mother?' he said,

suddenly appearing to notice, with alarm, the absence of Traddles,

and pulling down the bell-rope. 'Fine doings in a person's own

house!'

'Mrs. Heep is here, sir,' said Traddles, returning with that worthy

mother of a worthy son. 'I have taken the liberty of making myself

known to her.'

'Who are you to make yourself known?' retorted Uriah. 'And what do

you want here?'

'I am the agent and friend of Mr. Wickfield, sir,' said Traddles,

in a composed and business-like way. 'And I have a power of

attorney from him in my pocket, to act for him in all matters.'

'The old ass has drunk himself into a state of dotage,' said Uriah,

turning uglier than before, 'and it has been got from him by

fraud!'

'Something has been got from him by fraud, I know,' returned

Traddles quietly; 'and so do you, Mr. Heep. We will refer that

question, if you please, to Mr. Micawber.'

'Ury -!' Mrs. Heep began, with an anxious gesture.

'YOU hold your tongue, mother,' he returned; 'least said, soonest

mended.'

'But, my Ury -'

'Will you hold your tongue, mother, and leave it to me?'

Though I had long known that his servility was false, and all his

pretences knavish and hollow, I had had no adequate conception of

the extent of his hypocrisy, until I now saw him with his mask off.

The suddenness with which he dropped it, when he perceived that it

was useless to him; the malice, insolence, and hatred, he revealed;

the leer with which he exulted, even at this moment, in the evil he

had done - all this time being desperate too, and at his wits' end

for the means of getting the better of us - though perfectly

consistent with the experience I had of him, at first took even me

by surprise, who had known him so long, and disliked him so

heartily.

I say nothing of the look he conferred on me, as he stood eyeing

us, one after another; for I had always understood that he hated

me, and I remembered the marks of my hand upon his cheek. But when

his eyes passed on to Agnes, and I saw the rage with which he felt

his power over her slipping away, and the exhibition, in their

disappointment, of the odious passions that had led him to aspire

to one whose virtues he could never appreciate or care for, I was

shocked by the mere thought of her having lived, an hour, within

sight of such a man.

After some rubbing of the lower part of his face, and some looking

at us with those bad eyes, over his grisly fingers, he made one

more address to me, half whining, and half abusive.

'You think it justifiable, do you, Copperfield, you who pride

yourself so much on your honour and all the rest of it, to sneak

about my place, eaves-dropping with my clerk? If it had been ME,

I shouldn't have wondered; for I don't make myself out a gentleman

(though I never was in the streets either, as you were, according

to Micawber), but being you! - And you're not afraid of doing this,

either? You don't think at all of what I shall do, in return; or

of getting yourself into trouble for conspiracy and so forth? Very

well. We shall see! Mr. What's-your-name, you were going to refer

some question to Micawber. There's your referee. Why don't you

make him speak? He has learnt his lesson, I see.'

Seeing that what he said had no effect on me or any of us, he sat

on the edge of his table with his hands in his pockets, and one of

his splay feet twisted round the other leg, waiting doggedly for

what might follow.

Mr. Micawber, whose impetuosity I had restrained thus far with the

greatest difficulty, and who had repeatedly interposed with the

first syllable Of SCOUN-drel! without getting to the second, now

burst forward, drew the ruler from his breast (apparently as a

defensive weapon), and produced from his pocket a foolscap

document, folded in the form of a large letter. Opening this

packet, with his old flourish, and glancing at the contents, as if

he cherished an artistic admiration of their style of composition,

he began to read as follows:

'"Dear Miss Trotwood and gentlemen -"'

'Bless and save the man!' exclaimed my aunt in a low voice. 'He'd

write letters by the ream, if it was a capital offence!'

Mr. Micawber, without hearing her, went on.

'"In appearing before you to denounce probably the most consummate

Villain that has ever existed,"' Mr. Micawber, without looking off

the letter, pointed the ruler, like a ghostly truncheon, at Uriah

Heep, '"I ask no consideration for myself. The victim, from my

cradle, of pecuniary liabilities to which I have been unable to

respond, I have ever been the sport and toy of debasing

circumstances. Ignominy, Want, Despair, and Madness, have,

collectively or separately, been the attendants of my career."'

The relish with which Mr. Micawber described himself as a prey to

these dismal calamities, was only to be equalled by the emphasis

with which he read his letter; and the kind of homage he rendered

to it with a roll of his head, when he thought he had hit a

sentence very hard indeed.

'"In an accumulation of Ignominy, Want, Despair, and Madness, I

entered the office - or, as our lively neighbour the Gaul would

term it, the Bureau - of the Firm, nominally conducted under the

appellation of Wickfield and - HEEP, but in reality, wielded by -

HEEP alone. HEEP, and only HEEP, is the mainspring of that

machine. HEEP, and only HEEP, is the Forger and the Cheat."'

Uriah, more blue than white at these words, made a dart at the

letter, as if to tear it in pieces. Mr. Micawber, with a perfect

miracle of dexterity or luck, caught his advancing knuckles with

the ruler, and disabled his right hand. It dropped at the wrist,

as if it were broken. The blow sounded as if it had fallen on

wood.

'The Devil take you!' said Uriah, writhing in a new way with pain.

'I'll be even with you.'

'Approach me again, you - you - you HEEP of infamy,' gasped Mr.

Micawber, 'and if your head is human, I'll break it. Come on, come

on! '

I think I never saw anything more ridiculous - I was sensible of

it, even at the time - than Mr. Micawber making broad-sword guards

with the ruler, and crying, 'Come on!' while Traddles and I pushed

him back into a corner, from which, as often as we got him into it,

he persisted in emerging again.

His enemy, muttering to himself, after wringing his wounded hand

for sometime, slowly drew off his neck-kerchief and bound it up;

then held it in his other hand, and sat upon his table with his

sullen face looking down.

Mr. Micawber, when he was sufficiently cool, proceeded with his

letter.

'"The stipendiary emoluments in consideration of which I entered

into the service of - HEEP,"' always pausing before that word and

uttering it with astonishing vigour, '"were not defined, beyond the

pittance of twenty-two shillings and six per week. The rest was

left contingent on the value of my professional exertions; in other

and more expressive words, on the baseness of my nature, the

cupidity of my motives, the poverty of my family, the general moral

(or rather immoral) resemblance between myself and - HEEP. Need I

say, that it soon became necessary for me to solicit from - HEEP -

pecuniary advances towards the support of Mrs. Micawber, and our

blighted but rising family? Need I say that this necessity had

been foreseen by - HEEP? That those advances were secured by

I.O.U.'s and other similar acknowledgements, known to the legal

institutions of this country? And that I thus became immeshed in

the web he had spun for my reception?"'

Mr. Micawber's enjoyment of his epistolary powers, in describing

this unfortunate state of things, really seemed to outweigh any

pain or anxiety that the reality could have caused him. He read

on:

'"Then it was that - HEEP - began to favour me with just so much of

his confidence, as was necessary to the discharge of his infernal

business. Then it was that I began, if I may so Shakespearianly

express myself, to dwindle, peak, and pine. I found that my

services were constantly called into requisition for the

falsification of business, and the mystification of an individual

whom I will designate as Mr. W. That Mr. W. was imposed upon, kept

in ignorance, and deluded, in every possible way; yet, that all

this while, the ruffian - HEEP - was professing unbounded gratitude

to, and unbounded friendship for, that much-abused gentleman. This

was bad enough; but, as the philosophic Dane observes, with that

universal applicability which distinguishes the illustrious

ornament of the Elizabethan Era, worse remains behind!"'

Mr. Micawber was so very much struck by this happy rounding off

with a quotation, that he indulged himself, and us, with a second

reading of the sentence, under pretence of having lost his place.

'"It is not my intention,"' he continued reading on, '"to enter on

a detailed list, within the compass of the present epistle (though

it is ready elsewhere), of the various malpractices of a minor

nature, affecting the individual whom I have denominated Mr. W., to

which I have been a tacitly consenting party. My object, when the

contest within myself between stipend and no stipend, baker and no

baker, existence and non-existence, ceased, was to take advantage

of my opportunities to discover and expose the major malpractices

committed, to that gentleman's grievous wrong and injury, by -

HEEP. Stimulated by the silent monitor within, and by a no less

touching and appealing monitor without - to whom I will briefly

refer as Miss W. - I entered on a not unlaborious task of

clandestine investigation, protracted - now, to the best of my

knowledge, information, and belief, over a period exceeding twelve

calendar months."'

He read this passage as if it were from an Act of Parliament; and

appeared majestically refreshed by the sound of the words.

'"My charges against - HEEP,"' he read on, glancing at him, and

drawing the ruler into a convenient position under his left arm, in

case of need, '"are as follows."'

We all held our breath, I think. I am sure Uriah held his.

'"First,"' said Mr. Micawber, '"When Mr. W.'s faculties and memory

for business became, through causes into which it is not necessary

or expedient for me to enter, weakened and confused, - HEEP -

designedly perplexed and complicated the whole of the official

transactions. When Mr. W. was least fit to enter on business, -

HEEP was always at hand to force him to enter on it. He obtained

Mr. W.'s signature under such circumstances to documents of

importance, representing them to be other documents of no

importance. He induced Mr. W. to empower him to draw out, thus,

one particular sum of trust-money, amounting to twelve six

fourteen, two and nine, and employed it to meet pretended business

charges and deficiencies which were either already provided for, or

had never really existed. He gave this proceeding, throughout, the

appearance of having originated in Mr. W.'s own dishonest

intention, and of having been accomplished by Mr. W.'s own

dishonest act; and has used it, ever since, to torture and

constrain him."'

'You shall prove this, you Copperfield!' said Uriah, with a

threatening shake of the head. 'All in good time!'

'Ask - HEEP - Mr. Traddles, who lived in his house after him,' said

Mr. Micawber, breaking off from the letter; 'will you?'

'The fool himself- and lives there now,' said Uriah, disdainfully.

'Ask - HEEP - if he ever kept a pocket-book in that house,' said

Mr. Micawber; 'will you?'

I saw Uriah's lank hand stop, involuntarily, in the scraping of his

chin.

'Or ask him,' said Mr. Micawber,'if he ever burnt one there. If he

says yes, and asks you where the ashes are, refer him to Wilkins

Micawber, and he will hear of something not at all to his

advantage!'

The triumphant flourish with which Mr. Micawber delivered himself

of these words, had a powerful effect in alarming the mother; who

cried out, in much agitation:

'Ury, Ury! Be umble, and make terms, my dear!'

'Mother!' he retorted, 'will you keep quiet? You're in a fright,

and don't know what you say or mean. Umble!' he repeated, looking

at me, with a snarl; 'I've umbled some of 'em for a pretty long

time back, umble as I was!'

Mr. Micawber, genteelly adjusting his chin in his cravat, presently

proceeded with his composition.

'"Second. HEEP has, on several occasions, to the best of my

knowledge, information, and belief -"'

'But that won't do,' muttered Uriah, relieved. 'Mother, you keep

quiet.'

'We will endeavour to provide something that WILL do, and do for

you finally, sir, very shortly,' replied Mr. Micawber.

'"Second. HEEP has, on several occasions, to the best of my

knowledge, information, and belief, systematically forged, to

various entries, books, and documents, the signature of Mr. W.; and

has distinctly done so in one instance, capable of proof by me. To

wit, in manner following, that is to say:"'

Again, Mr. Micawber had a relish in this formal piling up of words,

which, however ludicrously displayed in his case, was, I must say,

not at all peculiar to him. I have observed it, in the course of

my life, in numbers of men. It seems to me to be a general rule.

In the taking of legal oaths, for instance, deponents seem to enjoy

themselves mightily when they come to several good words in

succession, for the expression of one idea; as, that they utterly

detest, abominate, and abjure, or so forth; and the old anathemas

were made relishing on the same principle. We talk about the

tyranny of words, but we like to tyrannize over them too; we are

fond of having a large superfluous establishment of words to wait

upon us on great occasions; we think it looks important, and sounds

well. As we are not particular about the meaning of our liveries

on state occasions, if they be but fine and numerous enough, so,

the meaning or necessity of our words is a secondary consideration,

if there be but a great parade of them. And as individuals get

into trouble by making too great a show of liveries, or as slaves

when they are too numerous rise against their masters, so I think

I could mention a nation that has got into many great difficulties,

and will get into many greater, from maintaining too large a

retinue of words.

Mr. Micawber read on, almost smacking his lips:

'"To wit, in manner following, that is to say. Mr. W. being

infirm, and it being within the bounds of probability that his

decease might lead to some discoveries, and to the downfall of -

HEEP'S - power over the W. family, - as I, Wilkins Micawber, the

undersigned, assume - unless the filial affection of his daughter

could be secretly influenced from allowing any investigation of the

partnership affairs to be ever made, the said - HEEP - deemed it

expedient to have a bond ready by him, as from Mr. W., for the

before-mentioned sum of twelve six fourteen, two and nine, with

interest, stated therein to have been advanced by - HEEP - to Mr.

W. to save Mr. W. from dishonour; though really the sum was never

advanced by him, and has long been replaced. The signatures to

this instrument purporting to be executed by Mr. W. and attested by

Wilkins Micawber, are forgeries by - HEEP. I have, in my

possession, in his hand and pocket-book, several similar imitations

of Mr. W.'s signature, here and there defaced by fire, but legible

to anyone. I never attested any such document. And I have the

document itself, in my possession."'

Uriah Heep, with a start, took out of his pocket a bunch of keys,

and opened a certain drawer; then, suddenly bethought himself of

what he was about, and turned again towards us, without looking in

it.

'"And I have the document,"' Mr. Micawber read again, looking about

as if it were the text of a sermon, '"in my possession, - that is

to say, I had, early this morning, when this was written, but have

since relinquished it to Mr. Traddles."'

'It is quite true,' assented Traddles.

'Ury, Ury!' cried the mother, 'be umble and make terms. I know my

son will be umble, gentlemen, if you'll give him time to think.

Mr. Copperfield, I'm sure you know that he was always very umble,

sir!'

It was singular to see how the mother still held to the old trick,

when the son had abandoned it as useless.

'Mother,' he said, with an impatient bite at the handkerchief in

which his hand was wrapped, 'you had better take and fire a loaded

gun at me.'

'But I love you, Ury,' cried Mrs. Heep. And I have no doubt she

did; or that he loved her, however strange it may appear; though,

to be sure, they were a congenial couple. 'And I can't bear to

hear you provoking the gentlemen, and endangering of yourself more.

I told the gentleman at first, when he told me upstairs it was come

to light, that I would answer for your being umble, and making

amends. Oh, see how umble I am, gentlemen, and don't mind him!'

'Why, there's Copperfield, mother,' he angrily retorted, pointing

his lean finger at me, against whom all his animosity was levelled,

as the prime mover in the discovery; and I did not undeceive him;

'there's Copperfield, would have given you a hundred pound to say

less than you've blurted out!'

'I can't help it, Ury,' cried his mother. 'I can't see you running

into danger, through carrying your head so high. Better be umble,

as you always was.'

He remained for a little, biting the handkerchief, and then said to

me with a scowl:

'What more have you got to bring forward? If anything, go on with

it. What do you look at me for?'

Mr. Micawber promptly resumed his letter, glad to revert to a

performance with which he was so highly satisfied.

'"Third. And last. I am now in a condition to show, by - HEEP'S

- false books, and - HEEP'S - real memoranda, beginning with the

partially destroyed pocket-book (which I was unable to comprehend,

at the time of its accidental discovery by Mrs. Micawber, on our

taking possession of our present abode, in the locker or bin

devoted to the reception of the ashes calcined on our domestic

hearth), that the weaknesses, the faults, the very virtues, the

parental affections, and the sense of honour, of the unhappy Mr. W.

have been for years acted on by, and warped to the base purposes of

- HEEP. That Mr. W. has been for years deluded and plundered, in

every conceivable manner, to the pecuniary aggrandisement of the

avaricious, false, and grasping - HEEP. That the engrossing object

of- HEEP - was, next to gain, to subdue Mr. and Miss W. (of his

ulterior views in reference to the latter I say nothing) entirely

to himself. That his last act, completed but a few months since,

was to induce Mr. W. to execute a relinquishment of his share in

the partnership, and even a bill of sale on the very furniture of

his house, in consideration of a certain annuity, to be well and

truly paid by - HEEP - on the four common quarter-days in each and

every year. That these meshes; beginning with alarming and

falsified accounts of the estate of which Mr. W. is the receiver,

at a period when Mr. W. had launched into imprudent and ill-judged

speculations, and may not have had the money, for which he was

morally and legally responsible, in hand; going on with pretended

borrowings of money at enormous interest, really coming from - HEEP

- and by - HEEP - fraudulently obtained or withheld from Mr. W.

himself, on pretence of such speculations or otherwise; perpetuated

by a miscellaneous catalogue of unscrupulous chicaneries -

gradually thickened, until the unhappy Mr. W. could see no world

beyond. Bankrupt, as he believed, alike in circumstances, in all

other hope, and in honour, his sole reliance was upon the monster

in the garb of man,"' - Mr. Micawber made a good deal of this, as

a new turn of expression, - '"who, by making himself necessary to

him, had achieved his destruction. All this I undertake to show.

Probably much more!"'

I whispered a few words to Agnes, who was weeping, half joyfully,

half sorrowfully, at my side; and there was a movement among us, as

if Mr. Micawber had finished. He said, with exceeding gravity,

'Pardon me,' and proceeded, with a mixture of the lowest spirits

and the most intense enjoyment, to the peroration of his letter.

'"I have now concluded. It merely remains for me to substantiate

these accusations; and then, with my ill-starred family, to

disappear from the landscape on which we appear to be an

encumbrance. That is soon done. It may be reasonably inferred

that our baby will first expire of inanition, as being the frailest

member of our circle; and that our twins will follow next in order.

So be it! For myself, my Canterbury Pilgrimage has done much;

imprisonment on civil process, and want, will soon do more. I

trust that the labour and hazard of an investigation - of which the

smallest results have been slowly pieced together, in the pressure

of arduous avocations, under grinding penurious apprehensions, at

rise of morn, at dewy eve, in the shadows of night, under the

watchful eye of one whom it were superfluous to call Demon -

combined with the struggle of parental Poverty to turn it, when

completed, to the right account, may be as the sprinkling of a few

drops of sweet water on my funeral pyre. I ask no more. Let it

be, in justice, merely said of me, as of a gallant and eminent

naval Hero, with whom I have no pretensions to cope, that what I

have done, I did, in despite of mercenary and selfish objects,

For England, home, and Beauty.

'"Remaining always, &c. &c., WILKINS MICAWBER."'

Much affected, but still intensely enjoying himself, Mr. Micawber

folded up his letter, and handed it with a bow to my aunt, as

something she might like to keep.

There was, as I had noticed on my first visit long ago, an iron

safe in the room. The key was in it. A hasty suspicion seemed to

strike Uriah; and, with a glance at Mr. Micawber, he went to it,

and threw the doors clanking open. It was empty.

'Where are the books?' he cried, with a frightful face. 'Some

thief has stolen the books!'

Mr. Micawber tapped himself with the ruler. 'I did, when I got the

key from you as usual - but a little earlier - and opened it this

morning.'

'Don't be uneasy,' said Traddles. 'They have come into my

possession. I will take care of them, under the authority I

mentioned.'

'You receive stolen goods, do you?' cried Uriah.

'Under such circumstances,' answered Traddles, 'yes.'

What was my astonishment when I beheld my aunt, who had been

profoundly quiet and attentive, make a dart at Uriah Heep, and

seize him by the collar with both hands!

'You know what I want?' said my aunt.

'A strait-waistcoat,' said he.

'No. My property!' returned my aunt. 'Agnes, my dear, as long as

I believed it had been really made away with by your father, I

wouldn't - and, my dear, I didn't, even to Trot, as he knows -

breathe a syllable of its having been placed here for investment.

But, now I know this fellow's answerable for it, and I'll have it!

Trot, come and take it away from him!'

Whether my aunt supposed, for the moment, that he kept her property

in his neck-kerchief, I am sure I don't know; but she certainly

pulled at it as if she thought so. I hastened to put myself

between them, and to assure her that we would all take care that he

should make the utmost restitution of everything he had wrongly

got. This, and a few moments' reflection, pacified her; but she

was not at all disconcerted by what she had done (though I cannot

say as much for her bonnet) and resumed her seat composedly.

During the last few minutes, Mrs. Heep had been clamouring to her

son to be 'umble'; and had been going down on her knees to all of

us in succession, and making the wildest promises. Her son sat her

down in his chair; and, standing sulkily by her, holding her arm

with his hand, but not rudely, said to me, with a ferocious look:

'What do you want done?'

'I will tell you what must be done,' said Traddles.

'Has that Copperfield no tongue?' muttered Uriah, 'I would do a

good deal for you if you could tell me, without lying, that

somebody had cut it out.'

'My Uriah means to be umble!' cried his mother. 'Don't mind what

he says, good gentlemen!'

'What must be done,' said Traddles, 'is this. First, the deed of

relinquishment, that we have heard of, must be given over to me now

- here.'

'Suppose I haven't got it,' he interrupted.

'But you have,' said Traddles; 'therefore, you know, we won't

suppose so.' And I cannot help avowing that this was the first

occasion on which I really did justice to the clear head, and the

plain, patient, practical good sense, of my old schoolfellow.

'Then,' said Traddles, 'you must prepare to disgorge all that your

rapacity has become possessed of, and to make restoration to the

last farthing. All the partnership books and papers must remain in

our possession; all your books and papers; all money accounts and

securities, of both kinds. In short, everything here.'

'Must it? I don't know that,' said Uriah. 'I must have time to

think about that.'

'Certainly,' replied Traddles; 'but, in the meanwhile, and until

everything is done to our satisfaction, we shall maintain

possession of these things; and beg you - in short, compel you - to

keep to your own room, and hold no communication with anyone.'

'I won't do it!' said Uriah, with an oath.

'Maidstone jail is a safer place of detention,' observed Traddles;

'and though the law may be longer in righting us, and may not be

able to right us so completely as you can, there is no doubt of its

punishing YOU. Dear me, you know that quite as well as I!

Copperfield, will you go round to the Guildhall, and bring a couple

of officers?'

Here, Mrs. Heep broke out again, crying on her knees to Agnes to

interfere in their behalf, exclaiming that he was very humble, and

it was all true, and if he didn't do what we wanted, she would, and

much more to the same purpose; being half frantic with fears for

her darling. To inquire what he might have done, if he had had any

boldness, would be like inquiring what a mongrel cur might do, if

it had the spirit of a tiger. He was a coward, from head to foot;

and showed his dastardly nature through his sullenness and

mortification, as much as at any time of his mean life.

'Stop!' he growled to me; and wiped his hot face with his hand.

'Mother, hold your noise. Well! Let 'em have that deed. Go and

fetch it!'

'Do you help her, Mr. Dick,' said Traddles, 'if you please.'

Proud of his commission, and understanding it, Mr. Dick accompanied

her as a shepherd's dog might accompany a sheep. But, Mrs. Heep

gave him little trouble; for she not only returned with the deed,

but with the box in which it was, where we found a banker's book

and some other papers that were afterwards serviceable.

'Good!' said Traddles, when this was brought. 'Now, Mr. Heep, you

can retire to think: particularly observing, if you please, that I

declare to you, on the part of all present, that there is only one

thing to be done; that it is what I have explained; and that it

must be done without delay.'

Uriah, without lifting his eyes from the ground, shuffled across

the room with his hand to his chin, and pausing at the door, said:

'Copperfield, I have always hated you. You've always been an

upstart, and you've always been against me.'

'As I think I told you once before,' said I, 'it is you who have

been, in your greed and cunning, against all the world. It may be

profitable to you to reflect, in future, that there never were

greed and cunning in the world yet, that did not do too much, and

overreach themselves. It is as certain as death.'

'Or as certain as they used to teach at school (the same school

where I picked up so much umbleness), from nine o'clock to eleven,

that labour was a curse; and from eleven o'clock to one, that it

was a blessing and a cheerfulness, and a dignity, and I don't know

what all, eh?' said he with a sneer. 'You preach, about as

consistent as they did. Won't umbleness go down? I shouldn't have

got round my gentleman fellow-partner without it, I think. -

Micawber, you old bully, I'll pay YOU!'

Mr. Micawber, supremely defiant of him and his extended finger, and

making a great deal of his chest until he had slunk out at the

door, then addressed himself to me, and proffered me the

satisfaction of 'witnessing the re-establishment of mutual

confidence between himself and Mrs. Micawber'. After which, he

invited the company generally to the contemplation of that

affecting spectacle.

'The veil that has long been interposed between Mrs. Micawber and

myself, is now withdrawn,' said Mr. Micawber; 'and my children and

the Author of their Being can once more come in contact on equal

terms.'

As we were all very grateful to him, and all desirous to show that

we were, as well as the hurry and disorder of our spirits would

permit, I dare say we should all have gone, but that it was

necessary for Agnes to return to her father, as yet unable to bear

more than the dawn of hope; and for someone else to hold Uriah in

safe keeping. So, Traddles remained for the latter purpose, to be

presently relieved by Mr. Dick; and Mr. Dick, my aunt, and I, went

home with Mr. Micawber. As I parted hurriedly from the dear girl

to whom I owed so much, and thought from what she had been saved,

perhaps, that morning - her better resolution notwithstanding - I

felt devoutly thankful for the miseries of my younger days which

had brought me to the knowledge of Mr. Micawber.

His house was not far off; and as the street door opened into the

sitting-room, and he bolted in with a precipitation quite his own,

we found ourselves at once in the bosom of the family. Mr.

Micawber exclaiming, 'Emma! my life!' rushed into Mrs. Micawber's

arms. Mrs. Micawber shrieked, and folded Mr. Micawber in her

embrace. Miss Micawber, nursing the unconscious stranger of Mrs.

Micawber's last letter to me, was sensibly affected. The stranger

leaped. The twins testified their joy by several inconvenient but

innocent demonstrations. Master Micawber, whose disposition

appeared to have been soured by early disappointment, and whose

aspect had become morose, yielded to his better feelings, and

blubbered.

'Emma!' said Mr. Micawber. 'The cloud is past from my mind.

Mutual confidence, so long preserved between us once, is restored,

to know no further interruption. Now, welcome poverty!' cried Mr.

Micawber, shedding tears. 'Welcome misery, welcome houselessness,

welcome hunger, rags, tempest, and beggary! Mutual confidence will

sustain us to the end!'

With these expressions, Mr. Micawber placed Mrs. Micawber in a

chair, and embraced the family all round; welcoming a variety of

bleak prospects, which appeared, to the best of my judgement, to be

anything but welcome to them; and calling upon them to come out

into Canterbury and sing a chorus, as nothing else was left for

their support.

But Mrs. Micawber having, in the strength of her emotions, fainted

away, the first thing to be done, even before the chorus could be

considered complete, was to recover her. This my aunt and Mr.

Micawber did; and then my aunt was introduced, and Mrs. Micawber

recognized me.

'Excuse me, dear Mr. Copperfield,' said the poor lady, giving me

her hand, 'but I am not strong; and the removal of the late

misunderstanding between Mr. Micawber and myself was at first too

much for me.'

'Is this all your family, ma'am?' said my aunt.

'There are no more at present,' returned Mrs. Micawber.

'Good gracious, I didn't mean that, ma'am,' said my aunt. 'I mean,

are all these yours?'

'Madam,' replied Mr. Micawber, 'it is a true bill.'

'And that eldest young gentleman, now,' said my aunt, musing, 'what

has he been brought up to?'

'It was my hope when I came here,' said Mr. Micawber, 'to have got

Wilkins into the Church: or perhaps I shall express my meaning more

strictly, if I say the Choir. But there was no vacancy for a tenor

in the venerable Pile for which this city is so justly eminent; and

he has - in short, he has contracted a habit of singing in

public-houses, rather than in sacred edifices.'

'But he means well,' said Mrs. Micawber, tenderly.

'I dare say, my love,' rejoined Mr. Micawber, 'that he means

particularly well; but I have not yet found that he carries out his

meaning, in any given direction whatsoever.'

Master Micawber's moroseness of aspect returned upon him again, and

he demanded, with some temper, what he was to do? Whether he had

been born a carpenter, or a coach-painter, any more than he had

been born a bird? Whether he could go into the next street, and

open a chemist's shop? Whether he could rush to the next assizes,

and proclaim himself a lawyer? Whether he could come out by force

at the opera, and succeed by violence? Whether he could do

anything, without being brought up to something?

My aunt mused a little while, and then said:

'Mr. Micawber, I wonder you have never turned your thoughts to

emigration.'

'Madam,' returned Mr. Micawber, 'it was the dream of my youth, and

the fallacious aspiration of my riper years.' I am thoroughly

persuaded, by the by, that he had never thought of it in his life.

'Aye?' said my aunt, with a glance at me. 'Why, what a thing it

would be for yourselves and your family, Mr. and Mrs. Micawber, if

you were to emigrate now.'

'Capital, madam, capital,' urged Mr. Micawber, gloomily.

'That is the principal, I may say the only difficulty, my dear Mr.

Copperfield,' assented his wife.

'Capital?' cried my aunt. 'But you are doing us a great service -

have done us a great service, I may say, for surely much will come

out of the fire - and what could we do for you, that would be half

so good as to find the capital?'

'I could not receive it as a gift,' said Mr. Micawber, full of fire

and animation, 'but if a sufficient sum could be advanced, say at

five per cent interest, per annum, upon my personal liability - say

my notes of hand, at twelve, eighteen, and twenty-four months,

respectively, to allow time for something to turn up -'

'Could be? Can be and shall be, on your own terms,' returned my

aunt, 'if you say the word. Think of this now, both of you. Here

are some people David knows, going out to Australia shortly. If

you decide to go, why shouldn't you go in the same ship? You may

help each other. Think of this now, Mr. and Mrs. Micawber. Take

your time, and weigh it well.'

'There is but one question, my dear ma'am, I could wish to ask,'

said Mrs. Micawber. 'The climate, I believe, is healthy?'

'Finest in the world!' said my aunt.

'Just so,' returned Mrs. Micawber. 'Then my question arises. Now,

are the circumstances of the country such, that a man of Mr.

Micawber's abilities would have a fair chance of rising in the

social scale? I will not say, at present, might he aspire to be

Governor, or anything of that sort; but would there be a reasonable

opening for his talents to develop themselves - that would be amply

sufficient - and find their own expansion?'

'No better opening anywhere,' said my aunt, 'for a man who conducts

himself well, and is industrious.'

'For a man who conducts himself well,' repeated Mrs. Micawber, with

her clearest business manner, 'and is industrious. Precisely. It

is evident to me that Australia is the legitimate sphere of action

for Mr. Micawber!'

'I entertain the conviction, my dear madam,' said Mr. Micawber,

'that it is, under existing circumstances, the land, the only land,

for myself and family; and that something of an extraordinary

nature will turn up on that shore. It is no distance -

comparatively speaking; and though consideration is due to the

kindness of your proposal, I assure you that is a mere matter of

form.'

Shall I ever forget how, in a moment, he was the most sanguine of

men, looking on to fortune; or how Mrs. Micawber presently

discoursed about the habits of the kangaroo! Shall I ever recall

that street of Canterbury on a market-day, without recalling him,

as he walked back with us; expressing, in the hardy roving manner

he assumed, the unsettled habits of a temporary sojourner in the

land; and looking at the bullocks, as they came by, with the eye of

an Australian farmer!

Read next: CHAPTER 53 - ANOTHER RETROSPECT

Read previous: CHAPTER 51 - THE BEGINNING OF A LONGER JOURNEY

Table of content of David Copperfield



GO TO TOP OF SCREEN

Post your review
Your review will be placed after the table of content of this book