ACT V - SCENE I

ACT V. SCENE I.
The forest.

[Enter TOUCHSTONE and AUDREY.]

TOUCHSTONE.
We shall find a time, Audrey; patience, gentle Audrey.

AUDREY.
Faith, the priest was good enough,
for all the old gentleman's saying.

TOUCHSTONE.
A most wicked Sir Oliver, Audrey, a most vile Martext.
But, Audrey, there is a youth here
in the forest lays claim to you.

AUDREY.
Ay, I know who 'tis;
he hath no interest in me in the world;
here comes the man you mean.

[Enter WILLIAM]

TOUCHSTONE.
It is meat and drink to me to see a clown.
By my troth, we that have good wits have much to answer for:
we shall be flouting; we cannot hold.

WILLIAM.
Good ev'n, Audrey.

AUDREY.
God ye good ev'n, William.

WILLIAM.
And good ev'n to you, sir.

TOUCHSTONE.
Good ev'n, gentle friend. Cover thy head, cover thy
head; nay, prithee be cover'd. How old are you, friend?

WILLIAM.
Five and twenty, sir.

TOUCHSTONE.
A ripe age. Is thy name William?

WILLIAM.
William, sir.

TOUCHSTONE.
A fair name. Wast born i' th' forest here?

WILLIAM.
Ay, sir, I thank God.

TOUCHSTONE.
'Thank God.' A good answer.
Art rich?

WILLIAM.
Faith, sir, so so.

TOUCHSTONE.
'So so' is good, very good,
very excellent good; and yet it is not;
it is but so so. Art thou wise?

WILLIAM.
Ay, sir, I have a pretty wit.

TOUCHSTONE.
Why, thou say'st well. I do now remember a saying:
'The fool doth think he is wise,
but the wise man knows himself to be a fool.'
The heathen philosopher,
when he had a desire to eat a grape,
would open his lips when he put it into his mouth;
meaning thereby that grapes were made to eat and lips to open.
You do love this maid?

WILLIAM.
I do, sir.

TOUCHSTONE.
Give me your hand. Art thou learned?

WILLIAM.
No, sir.

TOUCHSTONE.
Then learn this of me: to have is to have;
for it is a figure in rhetoric that drink,
being pour'd out of cup into a glass,
by filling the one doth empty the other;
for all your writers do consent th at ipse is he;
now, you are not ipse, for I am he.

WILLIAM.
Which he, sir?

TOUCHSTONE.
He, sir, that must marry this woman. Therefore, you clown,
abandon- which is in the vulgar leave- the society-
which in the boorish is company- of this female- which in the
common is woman- which together is:
abandon the society of this female;
or, clown, thou perishest;
or, to thy better understanding, diest;
or, to wit, I kill thee, make thee away,
translate thy life into death, thy liberty into bondage.
I will deal in poison with thee,
or in bastinado, or in steel;
I will bandy with thee in faction;
will o'er-run thee with policy;
I will kill thee a hundred and fifty ways;
therefore tremble and depart.

AUDREY.
Do, good William.

WILLIAM.
God rest you merry, sir.

[Exit]

[Enter CORIN]

CORIN.
Our master and mistress seeks you; come away, away.

TOUCHSTONE.
Trip, Audrey, trip, Audrey. I attend, I attend.

[Exeunt.]

Read next: ACT V#SCENE II

Read previous: ACT IV#SCENE III

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